Peppi la Pew...

It was just another TGIF morning. Sippin' the morning coffee, reading the paper, planning my day. Molly was leaving with the kids to school and ol' Smitty rides with her everyday. She let's Smitty out. Girls putting their coats on. A minute later Smitty barks to come in. Hmmmmm? She lets him in. He takes 2 steps and Molly screams, "SKUNK, SMITTY GOT SPRAYED!!!!!" Fiona and Deirdre come running to see what's up. I jump up and am shouting "Get him out, get him out" as Molly already has old Smit on the back porch. I thought the 10 point deer on the front step Thanksgiving or the 2 burning holiday ovens were crisis situations. Pale in comparison to this. Old Smitty is standing on the backporch with his head down, tail drooped and he ain't moving an inch. I swear I heard him say, "%*#@^ing skunk" clear as a bell. Meanwhile the entire house is filling up with the MOST rank smelling skunk spray you ever laid olfactory nerves on. It must have been the Barry Bonds of skunks. The wallpaper was starting to peel off the walls. Paint was blistering right up as I watched. We all scrambled for the furthest point in the house from the eye of the storm.....Big Mo's bedroom. As the Princess topped off her beauty sleep we charged into the room screaming "Ahhhhhhhh choke, choke" The girls were having laughing fits. Molly was picked to retrieve their schoolbags for a back door exit. It was a scene right out of Saving Private Ryan. "Get out there Molly, WE NEED THOSE BAGS!!!" A short while later, after the girls were delivered to school and we realized that the odor in the house and on our clothes, was getting worse, Molly wondered if the girls clothes were stinky too. How do you call a new school and diplomatically ask them to smell your kids to see if they smell like little skunks? The call was made and a short time later the school called back. When I answered it sounded like a ransom call might sound as the person was definetly disguising their voice. Then I recognized the nasally sound and knew the caller was pinching their nose. "Come get your kids!!!! PLEASE!!!!" Deirdre was retrieved, sobbing, from the nurse's office and Fiona would be released as soon as her entire class was done wiping all their desks down with sani-wipes, seems the unknowing teacher detected a foul odor. Wonder where that came from? So here I sit, smelling like Peppi La Pew. Spent $20.00 at the doggy wash de-skunking my faithful friend. Another $ 25.00 at the pet shop on skunk stuff and Google tells me a concoction of peroxide, baking soda and dish detergent should do the trick. Maybe I retired too early.