Too Old For Music?

• Too many things on this list hit close to home. How about for you? You know you're too old to play gigs when: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp 2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf. 3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m. 4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub 5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist 6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie 7. You lost the directions to the gig 8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings 9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage 10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts. 11. The waitress is your daughter 12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers 13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats 14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case 15. You refuse to play without earplugs 16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30 17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig 18. Your gig stool has a back 19. You're related to at least one member in the band 20. You don't let any one sit in 21. You need a nap before the gig 22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early. 23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down 24. You prefer a music stand with a light 25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon 26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever..... 27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor. 28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ... 30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it. 31. When your groupies begin to carry photos of their grandchildren. 32. When they request "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Mustang Sally"...and you are actually happy to play them. 33. There's a free bar, and the ginger ale looks tempting. 34. You *really* look forward to break time. 35. When your pay-to-age ratio becomes divisible by two.