Why do Dogs Sniff? ONE of the THREE Best Jokes Ever !!!

You may have heard this one before, but like a good song, it's worth repeating...

God was creating...he was creating Dogs. He had all the dogs lined up and needed to insert one more piece to make them complete. God had arranged all of the dogs butt holes on a Peg Board. As each dog came forward God inserted the butt hole from the Peg Board into the designated dog. ALL OF A SUDDEN!!! the Heavens started to Shake! Fire & Brimstone Rained Down! The Devil was raising Cane!

God yelled out to the Dogs..."Grab your asshole and run for your life!"...and the dogs did. Grabbing anything off the Peg Board they could get their canines into.... It was chaos...

That is why...to this day...each dog greets the other by Sniffing and asking..."did you get my asshole?"

SHOULD I POST THE OTHER TWO BEST JOKES ?

Making a Point...or Beating a Dead Horse?

As you can see, the Blog Research Team is on the job!!! Headed by Mr Baseball, MichaelPea, the Research Team has established that NO Team, other than the Phillies, have gone thru their History without putting the name of their ORIGIN on their Jersey! For you Florida or Texas doubters...that is the NAME of their Team! and their Jersey hi-lites it...

There is ONE exception......those Los Angeles Angels of AnaheimY. But! Since they have been in existence for less than 10 years......and have Rodents running Wild in their Stadium, we At The Blog will withhold our opinion......

(as always...click on PHOTOS to ENLARGE)

What could be FUNNER Than Gran'Kids?

Over 400 Photos were sent to "Pa" today via the Net...these are some of my Favorites

Oh Yee of Little Faith!

What do these two men have in common? For all you nay sayers who broke various limbs jumping off the Phillies bandwagon, you may want to climb back on (at least for a little while). Rumor is that "Pat the Bat" aka the Metropolitan Killa has something to say: KEEP HOPE ALIVE! and Now Pat has joined "THE RAINBOW COALITION" to keep Hope Alive!!!

Don't mess with the peanut butter!

Somewhere along the way I dropped my guard and there has been a pantry security breach. Went to make my all-time favorite meal the other day and reached for the peanut butter and found 3 jars of pb. Only thing was, none of them were regular old peanut butter. Some tree huggin', croc wearing, all natural organic fiber, crackpot bought a jar of ORGANIC, a jar of ALL NATURAL and a jar of LOW FAT & LOW SUGAR peanut butter. Since when do you mess with a 50+ year tradition!!! No Skippy, No Jif, No store brand even. Just 3 jars of some stick in the throat and not to the roof of your mouth crap. One was sooooo oily I had to stir it. The other was sooooo dry I poured the oil from the first into the 2nd. The 3rd was soooo gritty, not crunchy; gritty, as in sand in your shorts gritty. Like chewing peanut butter on sandpaper bread. To the stinkin', tofu eating. sushi smelling creep that did this dastardly act I have just one thing to say, "GET THAT CRAP OUTTA MY PANTRY AND TAKE YOUR NO SUGAR ALL NATURAL JELLY WITH YOU!" Starving in Lancaster.

BBQ King or Queen

In your household who does the BBQ'ing; Man or Woman? Why? TV overwhelmingly shows men manning the grille (pun intended) but is that the way it is in your house? If you DON'T own a grille why not? Oh yeah, gas or charcoal?

Farm Boys

When is the Last Time you wrote a Song, a Poem or just a Nice Note to your "Main Squeeze" ?

Remember when I asked if you need a License, etal?

OpinionJournal - JOHN FUND ON THE TRAIL This is where I was coming from...The Blog scoops the Wall Street Journal!!!!

Just Scanning Away! McKendry Bros' on the Country Club Circuit with Guest Stars!!!

What could be more FUN????

BTW....FORE!!!! (TICKETS ARE SCARCE),

for those of you in Feltonville, FORE means "Heads UP" !!!!

for those of you in Port Richmond, "BTW" means "By the Way"...

for those of you from DELCO...remain in your current location! Mayor Nagin is sending busses for you! The tickets you will need to get into Sandy Run Country Club must be paid for in Advance... but not until the bus you are on crosses the Schuylkill...

(does this stir anyone but moi' and Jaz)

My Resuscitated Scanner & What it can do!

A Police Scanner is used by "stay at home" wannabee Cops, Firemen or Ambulance chasing Lawyers. A LexMark Scanner is used by "stay at home" wannabee Directors, Producers, Authors, Journalists, Comedians, etc.

• See The Difference? (that's also the Name of a Band I need to Scan)

click any IMAGE to ENLARGE (Make it Bigger!)

Sometimes I Amaze ME!!!

My scanner broke and I was chagrined at the thought of having to buy another. Not to Worry!!! I put on my tin foil thinking cap and managed to re-boot and re-configure and WALA!!!! I fixed the problem!!! 215 tickets available for the BM show at Sandy Run CC and 175 SOLD as of 8/24!!! I got mine! Did you get yours???

Even at the Ripe Old Age of 44...(which was the number of Zeke from Cabin Creek)

I am still waiting and hoping that the Sport Teams of Philadelphia will win one for the GPer. Shown here are some of Philadelphia's Phamous People...An Eagle, a Charlie, a Blaze, A 76er logo, a Phanatic and a Phillies Neon. Amazzingly, I could not find a Phlyer hockey photo to Post nor a photo of Dutch Dorno... When Phillie Teams win it makes the work week easier...when the Eagles win, the work week is Special... By the way...the Phillies are ...@#$%^&*(!!!!@#$%^&.. are making me look older than I feel....

BREAKING NEWS!!! & it's not GOOD!!! then again, what Breaking News is EVER Good?

My Scanner is DEAD! kaput, dsoi chai, road kill, The lifeline to the Newgpblog has assumed "room temperature" and I am temporarily unable to proceed with creative, thought provoking, ingenious, temperamental, heart throbbing, aggravating, obnoxious, Funny, Dull, Insulting, Idiotic, Stupid, Fantastic, Wonderful (add your comment here) Postings.... I think the death of my Scanner had to do with (not the BUSH Administration) but the Fact that Michael was here today to present a check for $1500.00 to the Newgpblog.blogspot for our Posting of the McKendry Brothers Engagement on 9/29/07 at Sandy Run "Country Club". The McKendry Brothers check for $1500.00 is the first time Newgpblog has received cold cash revenue! As luck would have it...while watching my beloved Scanner assume Room Temperature, Michael received a cell phone call from the Mgr at the "Country Club" 1) "Mike, can you give me 25 tickets?" 2) The "Country Club" can accommodate 215 3) Michael was given 75 tickets to sell 4) The "Country Club" kept 140 tickets to sell to members of the "Country Club" 5) The "Club" sold their tickets (140 of them) in Tree, Three, Tres DAYS!!!! 6) I suggested to Michael that he sell the 25 tickets the "Club" asked for...Back to the "Club" @ $100.00 a piece... 7) Being a "Flaming Liberal" Michael said....(Gerry, Give Peace a Chance...") Bottom line...looks like if you want to see the McKendry Brothers in a "Country Club" setting you better reserve a space NOW!!! I have 2 tickets I am willing to part with for $450.00 (that would be PER ticket) Meanwhile...I need to find a new scanner....... (a picture is worth a thousand words)

1. PS... Michael took back the check that was meant to be advertising Revenue for the Newgpblog and tore it up...Woe is Me!

Confessions

Ever feel the need to come clean and confess something? You know, a public acknowledgement of some deep dark secret that bugs you. I do. Here goes, I finished the milk on "D" St. There I said it and damn I feel good. Everytime someone would open the fridge and say, "who finished the milk?" I felt guilty. Don't know WHY i felt guilty afterall somebody had to finish it. Even if I didn't finish it finish it I felt guilty. Like some infant would go to bed hungry because I had to have a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Tsk, Tsk, shame, shame. Same feeling I got the first time I saw the cracked Liberty Bell. I confessed to that too.

"TEACHER"... is it a Fun Job or Just a Job?

It's almost back to school time! Are Teachers excited?

Do you have...or have you ever Had a Job that you did a "feenie weenie" about?

That is, have you ever gotten "feenie weenied" about getting "Back To Work"?

just wondering about "JOBS"

Have you ever Googled yourself or anyone else?

It can be a fun and interesting thing to do...I know people that have said, "I can't believe I am not on Google!" Other people have said the opposite.... Google.com for those that have time to fill

No Wonder Jason Loves being Half Ukrainian!

Remember when Beirut was the Brunt of jokes regarding places you would not want to visit? Remember just last year when Israel was fighting Hezbollah (or was it Hamas or AlQueda?) in Lebanon?

Well, this is an example of "resiliency"! Now, I personally, would never set foot in Lebanon or Israel, or any Foreign country except maybe the Canadian side of Niagara Falls , but you have to concede that these people have Moxie!

I understand that Jason, along with some of his friends, has already made Reservations @ The Oceana Beach Resort in Damour, Lebanon for next year...hopefully, it will not be with a Helmet and Body Armour, courtesy of the USMC!

Actually, this story makes me feel more hopeful about World Events...Maybe the "people" are finally saying to their Leaders...."we don't care what you say, we'll be happy any-way"! Or, as Pee Wee Herman famously said when confronted by a Bully..."I know you are, but what am I?"

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!

(click on REUTERS article to ENLARGE)

Puckett Brothers on YouTube!!!

Nearly 25 years after the Puckett Brothers described their encounter with an Extra Terrestrial while squirrel hunting, the video is available for the WORLD to see on YouTube!

A History Lesson regarding Begetting...This may take a while and need input...

From the little I have learned:

Mary married Jack and they begot

Alyce, who married Paul (circa 1941), and begotten from Bill & DeeDee Dornisch.

Paul & Alyce begot Christine, Patricia, Susan, Michael and Mary.

Alyce & Paul's begotten ones' have begot Fiona, George, Paul, Maggie, Ralph, Max, Ringo, Lester, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John...

Meanwhile, Jack & Mary beget yet another...John...

Who married Kevin (of The Martin's) and proceeded to beget Nicole. And the martin's are...?

Still young and in Love, Mary & Jack beget their favorite offspring Gerald!!!

Gerald marries Maryann (of Ukrainian descent) and they beget, under the Watchful Eyes of John & Kathryn, two more begotten ones'! Sam and Jason...Sam marries Kelly and in the California desert they beget Justin and Amanda! Jason is still wandering around the Jersey shore begetting anyone he can...

Lo & Behold, back in the '40's and a short time after Gerald, the Union between Mary & Jack begets yet another! That would be Michael...a begetter of profound proportion!

Just when Jack and Mary were about to make their Final payment to the House calling Dr. Levitt we find out that Timothy is on the way, along with the Advent of TV! (if this were after Roe v Wade would Dr Levitt have been paid & would we have had a TV sooner...and also one less brother? not to mention no Family Pool?)

Timothy proceeds to marry Maureen (of the Bill & Jocelyn O'Hare's) and beget Molly, Seana, Kate, Meghan(Gpeas neglected Goddaughter), Maura, Padriac and Kielan...these begotten ones proceed to beget others from White's, to TimothyII's, to Declans to Zees!

It was 1955, Eisenhower was our President, the world was at Peace...and Edward was begetted!

In 1982 Edward & Susan (neeYebsley, whose Mother lives in 26.2 Florida and whose Father rests near us in Roxborough) were joined in a "Shotgun Wedding" ceremony...not because Susan was pregnant...but because Mrs Joan King wanted Edward off the Farm!!! This decision

by Joan King resulted in Christopher and Anna.

Many Blanks to fill...and corrections to make.

Do you wear your Wedding Ring?

Did your spouse present you with a Ring on your Wedding Day?

If so, do you wear that Ring today?

If you were not presented with a Ring on your Wedding Day,

tell us what your Spouse has against jewelry....

If you put a Ring on your finger on your Wedding Day and it is not there today...how come???

The Sledge Hammer Story...

My brother TJ was working for Kuhar (sic) and doing concrete. He came home in a company vehicle that had a Sledge Hammer in it. I picked up the Sledge Hammer, one handed, and sprained my wrist! Timothy picked up the Sledge Hammer, held it out "straight armed", and proceeded to bring the Sledge Hammer to within an inch of his Forhead!!! I ran in the house and told my Brothers and Dad, "......do not Mess with Timmy!" as Lamaar famously said, "every word of this is True"!

If you could be an Animal what would you be? (psychiatrists are standing by...)

Just for the Fun of It!

Half Ukrainian running back from Wissahickon rushes for TWO TD's against Arch-rival Plymouth Whitemarsh and the BM's take the Little half- Ukie to dinner/lunch/brunch/picnic at PHIL'S TAVERN!!! Final Score: Wissahickon 14-PW 7...

Cool Stuff!!!

Baby Day

Eddie and his video camera caught some of the action from Lancaster.

I am of Irish descent...of what descent are you?

Just finished reading this book. Never heard of the Author before Judith Ann put the book on the kitchen table. Loved the book! Made me Happy, made me like the Irish people more. Did not make me want to travel to Ireland, however. But, I Really enjoyed the Visit the book provided! Has anyone else read this Mauve person? (and who is that young Lass pictured above?)

(click on any photo to ENLARGE)

In your Job (TJ, you can ignore this Post ) do you have to have a License, Permit, Permission, Certification, Clearance?

In other words, does your job require you to have a License (issued by a State Body) to do what you do? I have a reason for asking....

Can a Bicycle Rider get a DUI Ticket?

My one son took his bicycle to the Shore. Said he would not drink & drive. He would just ride his bike! I said, "good idea"! My other son said, you can still get a DUI ticket on a Bicycle! Not to mention, how do you invite a "chick' u meet (down-a-shore) and ask her to ride with you on your Bike to view the Sunrise? I am so Happy to be OLD! Can the DUI Police give you a Ticket for riding a BIKE while under the influence?